I Choose Love

It's been awhile since I've blogged. Life has been busy. Working on various creative projects, developing new projects, and I have a new producing gig with KABC.

No matter what projects I'm working on though, I'm constantly pushing forward on my acting career. Because ultimately, that is where my passion lies. I've had a lot of great things happening with my acting this year - what with J. Edgar...but there's always new horizons to see, more challenges and even larger roles that I'd like to take on.

So last night, I had a great conversation with my agent. I really like him because he keeps it real with me. It was one of those talks where he's managing my expectations. And I get that. As a producer, I have to do that often with clients & artists. Basically my agent let me know that there are alot of actresses out there who are the same age as me, have more credits and more contacts in this business. And he's right. But after I hung up the phone with him, I took a moment to reflect....

There have been many instances in my life when people have had "the odds are stacked against you" conversation with me. And in every one of those instances, it's only served as fuel for me to accomplish my goals. If I believed that because something seemed tough and damn near impossible that I should just give up-then I NEVER would be where I am today. In fact, I probably would have gotten pregnant at 16, graduated with my GED, never left Coatesville or went to college, lived off of public assistance with 4 kids by 3 different men and became a grandmother at 31. But I didn't.

MY reality is, sure-the odds may be stacked against me, but God is OBVIOUSLY for me. And I'll put my money on God every single time.

I was born into a multi-racial family. My father, although he loved me very much, was plagued by the disease called addiction. And this addiction was like a cancer in our family. It ate away at each and everyone of us emotionally, mentally, and financially. My mother tried to battle his disease and supported him for years. But when it became clear that she couldn't take care of three young girls and a grown man who physically abused her-she separated from him. It was probably the smartest decision she ever made. Smart, not just for her own physical safety, but for the health and well-being of myself and my sisters.

It was a daily nightmare when my dad lived with us. And after he left, there was peace, but boy did we struggle. My father's family helped us as they could. And my mom's tightly knit family tried to pitch in as well. Our church family was also a great support. But we still struggled.

Looking back now, I don't know how my mom managed it all. She worked like crazy, and still had the energy to cart us around to dance classes, school plays, and girl scout meetings. She was actively involved in local politics and took us with her to work the polls on voting day. She even took in foster children who needed a temporary home. She provided a safe environment for all of us to grow, study, and learn how to become women.

My mother never had "the odds are stacked against you" talk with me. She always (and still to this day) reminds me that I can do anything. She really believes that my opportunities are limitless. If it wasn't for my mom, I never would have applied and been accepted to Villanova on a full academic scholarship. She constantly pushed me and believed in my gifts.

Everyone is born with a gift; some sort of blessing, Talent or skill that if honed and cultivated, can support that person and be used in service for others. Whether that skill is wood working, mathmatics, painting, singing, or coaching-it is a gift that is God-given and can be a means of prosperity if applied correctly. Not everyone will see and acknowledge other peoples gifts. Some haven't realized their OWN gifts, so they can't be a source of support in believing in yours. I told my younger sister once, "How can you expect someone without a dream to believe and encourage you in yours?" The answer is-you can't. And it's ok. Not everyone has to believe in you for you to achieve success or realize your vision.

That's why I choose to surround myself with people who are positive, motivating, and give love, not negativity. Sometimes, that means making the choice to separate myself from certain business associates, friends, and even family members who's negative talk or crazy lifestyle is detrimental to me. As an adult, I have the power to choose who to allow in my life. So I choose positivity. I choose encouragement. I choose love.