What is Love?

During a recent trip home to Pennsylvania for a friend's wedding, I naturally had LOVE on the brain. With the majority of my high school friends already hitched, now even my L.A. friends -whom most people assume have Peter Pan syndrome - are also exchanging vows.

As I visited with my older sister and her husband who've been married for almost 8 years and have 5 children, I wonder how one makes the decision that "This is the person I will love & be with for eternity." As this internal dialogue is playing out in my mind, my brother-in-law popped in a DVD that he'd recently shared with his home church study group. It's produced by a company called Nooma that creates short videos that spark dialogue for study groups. This particular video was called "Flame," and of course-was about Love.

The basic idea behind the video is that the word Love is used very loosely. In the Hebrew language, there are at least three different words for our English word 'LOVE.'

1. Raya - 'friend,' or 'companion' - somebody you hang out with.
2. Ahava - is the love of will. More profound than fleeting romantic feelings. This is much more than temporary urges. Ahava is making a decision to join your life to the life of another. This is an emotion that leads to commitment.
3. Dod - to 'carouse,' to 'rock,' or to 'fondle.' Dod is the physical, sexual element to a relationship.

"We have our raya flame. We have our ahava flame. And, we have our dod flame. One flame burning all by itself will never be as hot as all the flames burning together. I mean, we were created for all the flames to burn as one."

-Rob Bell, Nooma "Flame"

Everyone has their own definition and understanding of Love & Marriage. But Rob Bell's theory of the three-fold flame sits well with me. Call me an optimist, a dreamer, or a girl who believes in fantasy, but I do believe that a real, true love should have all three of those elements: friendship, committment, and passion.