The past six months have been extremely slow for me career-wise. "We're in a recession" everyone says. Or, "The economy is terrible. There are a lot of people out of work in the entertainment industry". That may be true, but it doesn't make it any easier on my self-confidence. I try to remind myself that taking a break from work is good. But I'm a workaholic. I had my first job at 14 because I had to work. My mom was a single parent of three kids, so if there was something I wanted that was outside of my basic necessities, I figured out pretty quickly that I had to get it for myself. And I always enjoyed working. I loved the feeling of accomplishment I'd get from cashing my check or counting my tips at the end of the night. But it also set me on a track to place a very high importance on work, sometimes at the detriment of my relationships. Especially working in the entertainment industry. Production hours are long and tedious. If I am producing a tv show or acting in a play, I often give up my Holidays. And being so far from my family back in Pennsylvania, I'm constantly missing weddings, birthdays, reunions and special family events. This is the price I pay to do what I love. But that price takes its toll after a while.
I've learned to mentally work through the periods of draught in my career. Finding other ways to fill my time with things that I love-like writing. Or I'll volunteer or help out and support friends on their various projects. But as a workaholic, NOT working can mess with my head-no matter how much yoga I'm doing to balance my "chi". So when my cousin Rachel announced she was getting married back in PA, and here I am in Los Angeles with no presumable work in sight, I decided to extend my trip home for a relaxing two weeks.
There is definitely something to be said for going home and disconnecting from L.A. As sunny and exciting as this town is, Hollywood can also warp your mind and your priorities. So getting away from it is a MUST! And the two weeks at home surrounded by my family and old friends was exactly what I needed to replenish my spirit. I had the chance to really connect and be present with the most important people in my life. I dropped in on my Aunt Teenie who's recovering from spinal surgery, and took her a homemade zucchini bread I'd made exactly the way she likes it. And in turn, she fed me some wisdom and knowledge that can only come from over 70 years spent on this earth. I played and laughed with my nephews and little niece. I watched cartoons and talked about video games, gave tips about looking at colleges and even sat in the passenger seat as my 16 year-old nephew drove me around for the first time. I visited a few girlfriends, all of them aglow with the birth of their brand new babies. They are completely wrapped up in the excitement of motherhood, purchasing homes, and training their husbands to change diapers. What a different world I live in! I've put all of that family stuff on the back burner, to the complete chagrin of my mother and aunts who ask me if I'm having children soon or if I plan on freezing my eggs. Um...neither, thanks.
It's awesome to see my childhood friends all grown up and doing adult things. It also makes me take a look at my own life and wonder whether my sacrifices are really worth it. Looking for the answer, I spent quite a bit of my time at home in prayer and meditation. Asking God to guide my path, both personally and professionally. Praying that he'd give me the wisdom, patience and discernment to decide what the next step is for me. So a few days before it was time to return to L.A., I received a call from my agent....
"Shannon, are you having a good time at home? Great! When are you coming back?"
"Thursday night," I said.
"I have an audition for you Thursday at 4pm."
"Oh no. I won't be back until Thursday at 11pm. Could they see me on Friday?"
"Nope. You'll be going straight to a producer's session. They specifically requested you and
there's only 3 other actresses reading against you."
I stopped and thought to myself....am I really going to cut short my time at home with my family to pay an arm and a leg to fly back to L.A. and audition for something that I may or may not get? Um...yes I am.
"I'll try and change my flight now. Call you back in a few hours," I told him.
By the grace of God, I was somehow able to get on an earlier flight without paying a dime. Thank goodness, because after being out of work for so long, my bank account was NOT trying to hear nothing about a change fee. However, getting on that flight meant getting up at 4am East Coast time, to make it back to L.A. for an audition at 4pm the very same day. But I did it. AND I BOOKED THE JOB!!!!!!!!!
I'm feeling super grateful for the prayers and encouragement of my family and friends. For everyone who texted to wish me luck and followed up with texts to ask how it went. It went awesome. I go in on Monday for a table read and wardrobe fitting. And I shoot on Thursday. God is so good!
Here is my praise & worship song of the day:
